Life as a dog can be pretty ruff. Luckily our insightful rescue president, Betty, has seen it all, and is here to provide your dogs with all of the wisdom and advice that they need. Does your dog have a question for Betty? Ask here. 

Dear Betty,

 The staff at Dog Tales always tell me that the best way to get adopted is to be super duper nice to everyone when they come to see me. I’ve taken this advice to heart, and I always make a point to greet my visitors with a big hug. The problem is, I’m a somewhat large dog, and when I extend a warm “please adopt me” welcome to my guests, they don’t seem to understand the gesture and tell me to get “DOWN”. Sometimes they even pretend to fall onto the ground. I’m not sure what I am doing wrong, as I have watched the chihuahua across from me hug his guests and it always seems to be well-received. Should I continue to greet visitors like the friendly and charismatic fellow that I am, or should I be stand-offish like that darn Pekingese beside me who seems to get all of the attention?

Sincerely,
Barron

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Dear Barron,

Let me level with you. I have seen you around the rescue, and to refer to yourself as a "somewhat large" dog is a bit of an understatement. I highly doubt that your guests are pretending to fall to the ground when you hug them... they very likely are falling to the ground. Does this mean you need to change the way you greet your guests and pretend to be someone that you're not? No! Greeting visitors with a big hug is always the best way to say hello. One of these days, you are going to hug somebody and they are going to have a good enough sense of balance to hug you right back, and that's when you'll know you're meant to be. In the meantime, continue to knock down as many guests as you please... it's fun for me to watch!

Dear Betty,

I certainly did not expect that living in a shelter would be a quiet and relaxing affair, however I feel as though the staff at Dog Tales did not have my best interests at heart when assigning my kennel neighbour. You see, my neighbour seems to have no interests or hobbies apart from barking. All day long all I hear is “woof woof woof woof woof”. The breakfast cart comes around, he barks. A staff member walks by, he barks. Another dog barks, he barks. Frankly, all of this barking is getting rather tiresome, and it is preventing me from getting my beauty rest. I have tried to communicate this with the staff by being extra quiet, but they do not seem to understand. How can I let the staff know that I need a new neighbour!

Getting a headache,
Samantha

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Dear Samantha,

The bad news is, there are few places in the shelter where you will not encounter a noisy neighbour. Because of this, requesting a move may not be the best solution to your problem. Luckily, in my opinion, it is always best to take matters into your own paws anyways! I invite you to think back to your childhood. Did you ever have a sibling who repeated everything you said just to annoy you? If so, you probably know what I'm getting at here. If your neighbour won't shut up, I suggest imitating him every time he barks. It is important that your bark sounds similar to his so that he knows you are mocking him. It may take a while, but over time it is basically guaranteed that he will find this even more annoying than you find his constant barking, and he will have no choice but to stop. If all of this barking gives the staff a headache, then this is a double victory for you, as it is your revenge for them placing you beside such an impolite dog. The good news is, all of the barking will come to an end as soon as you're adopted.

Hang in there!

Dear Betty,

I have watched many Christmas movies in my life, and it has become clear to me that, while some traditions may come and go, stockings are here to stay.  I find the whole concept so alluring - going to sleep on Christmas Eve and waking up on Christmas morning with a stocking full of treats! Why, this would be a dream come true! The problem is, Santa will not know that I am in need of treats if I do not have a stocking of my own, and the staff at Dog Tales have not provided me with one. What can I do about this?

Stockingless,
Kirito

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Dear Kirito,

I am disappointed to hear that Dog Tales has not provided you with a Christmas stocking of your own. Luckily the solution to this is really quite simple. It is a little known fact that humans carry two small stockings on their feet at all times. You and I both know that only one stocking is needed for Santa, and for them to have two is just selfish. Next time you are with a staff member, locate the top of one of these stockings, grab hold, and pull pull pull! Even if you aren't able to remove it from their foot, this should send a very clear message. 

Best of luck, and Merry Christmas!

Dear Betty,

I just arrived in Canada a few days ago after having lived my entire life in Israel. Upon my arrival, one of the staff members at Dog Tales attempted to dress me up in what she referred to as a “Christmas sweater”. I myself am a Jewish dog, and have always celebrated Hanukkah. Does living at Dog Tales mean that I must change my holiday traditions? Besides that, I find the sweater ugly and rather unflattering.

Sincerely,
Caught between two holidays.
(a.k.a. Dex)

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Hi Dex,

To begin, welcome to Canada, and I apologize for the cold weather! I too am a Jewish dog, and I was also faced with this important dilemma. My decision was to celebrate both holidays, as this simply means double the treats (and who can say no to extra treats?!). Of course, if you don't want to celebrate Christmas, or if you simply do not want to wear the sweater, there is a very simple way of letting the staff know. Just remove the Christmas sweater from your body and pee on it.  I can't think of a more clear message than that! 

Happy Hanukkah!